something something dark side by OnlyTheFallen, literature
Literature
something something dark side
Sometimes I wonder, how different it all could have been,
slipping endlessly into the abyss of self degradation.
Sometimes I seem more happy than others, more lucid..
Words are but a hapless teething, a minds lease to the thoughts and fears of an adults life..
an adolescence..
Drifting in the seamless strays of dissected thoughts.
Another endless word on unrelenting eyes. Such spite. Such remorse..
all hastened.
Ramblings of an Uneven Mind by OnlyTheFallen, literature
Literature
Ramblings of an Uneven Mind
I wanted to wake up today.
I lay there quietly taping
on my window pain eyes
..as the rain fell down.
I wanted to scream today.
but a whisper is all I found
..beneath my sheets.
I wanted to write today.
But the words all seemed so forced.
So I ended with the obligatory *sigh*
and the thought of you again.
To open these old wounds by OnlyTheFallen, literature
Literature
To open these old wounds
These words teeter on the edge of my tongue
pulsing back and forth.
Sometimes I forget, then find myself surprised to remember you.
I want to wake up not caring,
seeing nothing like I had before.
Days pass in silence.
and I live in words bereaved of you,
stumbling on the way to agony.
Half hearted in romantic delusion and wanting nothing more.
Hasted to call you and screaming myself such lies.
Ramblings of an uneven mind II by OnlyTheFallen, literature
Literature
Ramblings of an uneven mind II
How hard can you fall against this slighted back drop
How much longer can you smile while you scream behinds these lengthy scars
That sweet smile, such beauty in such decay..
I hold this world up to you and give you all I can
I stand for you, and all that is yours
But you lie to me and hide in these depths while I scratch at barren walls
Painted in haste and dripping of the fowl remorse that gives me breath.
I sink into the deep, dark ravine that holds me
in such sweet decay..
I like to be held under my skin
Seething in creation of my own warped remains
How do you believe that I'm not true to you when I’m not true in myself?
Ha.. no
Ramblings of an uneven mind I by OnlyTheFallen, literature
Literature
Ramblings of an uneven mind I
I gave up all my instinct
and answered all my thoughts.
Asking questions that I know
I'll never hear.
Though my thoughts are still believing
that my dreams are not relieving
and my mind is just a short and
freakish fear.
These words feel they have no meaning
They only form a faltering barrier
against my own self destruction.
Engaged in battle against myself
I loose at will and sleep
until the hours wake me,
I slide through these event day after day
knowing more will bring the same.
A never ending laughter at myself..
I lay here,
in your dreams.
My world crumbles around me.
My open eyes see nothing but blackness.
I am surrounded by darkness.
A tear drops and brings light to this dreary place.
Where are you?
Have you not a single bead of compassion?
Do you wish to see me die alone and hateful?
I want to be so close to you,
but your ignorance pushes me into dark corners.
So I sit alone.
Colour drains and I stare at the coldness.
Are you happy now?
Are you happy to see my pain?
You were everything to me,
but all you wanted was someone to play with.
I was nothing but a second hand relationship,
an offspring of your so-called confusion.
But y
I am smitten.
That smell, that sweet scent of long ago
in a time when I was happy.
Taken now as I am but half a man.
Flown from fancy and hidden inside a smile.
Breaking at the seems, in dreams,
I can see you at will, standing close.
My heart drops and I am happy.
"Behold my heart!" at length I scream,
"Take stance and believe!
I am but a man, in half I stand
Waiting for your smile so I may be whole!"
That sweet smile drives me -
That sweet scent holds me -
to your name -
and I am smitten.
In dreams.
My heart slides in its happy motion,
pedantic in its most forceful thrust.
Pushing out the words that seem trapped inside
and blanketed by the world that hides behind that velvet shield..
Words not wanting, but hardened by the passionate rage.
Crying. Uneven. Lies.
But what are these words that cannot be spoken?
Hearts so true that the fear consumes them..
How will I know that this is the world?
When will I care that there is nothing more?
Words can be spoken as the heart breaks,
sighs fill my ears as the sound slips away.
Emptiness returns to greet me another day..
and I smile.. yes.. I know this is the way.
My life over bland
I see to my content
In hindsight I believe in you.
In grace I try to forget.
Forgive and live in hopefulness
and give to sense and state
a fistful of your patented lies
and give to contemplate.
Atrocities of faded truth
and of life’s little game
I’ll hide inside my tiny shell
and cry foul of true loves name.
Given, yet not to forget
And seek a little shame
A blatant disregard for truth
A blind conclusion of blame.
Yet to hear a lovers cry
and pass for just the same
I’ll live the lie, and slowly die,
and start the game again.
Cries from another room by OnlyTheFallen, literature
Literature
Cries from another room
I take my stand that I cant force-feed these words,
my breath, any longer.
Given to the greatest desire
that I'll never know what this feeling is.
Stated in the belief that it's just a passing phase.
Just like all the others.
Words are simple when spoken beneath the eyes.
A cold breath moves across the room
to find it's place amongst the pieces of tarnished jewellery
inside my tattered books.
Dreams of times when happiness seemed so simple
and the days became a never ending playground,
the world at my fingertips.
The days now seem so distant.
Filled with the screams of broken lives and hated men..
I don't want do this anymore..
Just to see you smile by OnlyTheFallen, literature
Literature
Just to see you smile
Can I take these words with you
a few silent breaths beside this form
distinct in a heartbeat, and undecided in everything else.
I can smile for us both,
having hapless words to calm your seething mind.
And drinking up each sigh.
I can hold onto the morning dews for us both,
and find the light inside your heart.
My heart, and ours.
I can be everything you want.
Just to see you smile
I take my hands and place them gently against your chest.
I hold my eyes evenly against yours.
I etch my lips along your forehead, down your cheek
and rest them on your smile.
I whisper my heart into your ears.
I show you the world without fear, without the rain.
I take a step back and let you swing.
- I catch you when you fall.
In my arms I hold you tight.
Your heart against mine.
I lift you up into the spot light and wait for the applause.
The greatest gift I can ever receive is inspiration.
- Thank you.
Thy words of love be seen
Only by the sweet lips
Of those I love.
Caress and dream of beauty’s face
To see, to breath,
And live in days of faith.
Believing and seeing
And living, for you,
I live. I love.
For you.
To dream and be forgotten
I can only waste
Beguiled in my wakening daze
And given to love, to give in haste.
Was not a day that passes by
I felt a little pain, and remembered that,
In days gone by, I once fell in shame.
I came to you, arms open wide
And spoke of my heart true.
A simple glance, a look, a smile,
I know, yes, I love you.
My love! I speak unto thee,
Give me my thoughts and refrain from the cold.
Dear love, the co
I woke up to this dry expression and wondered where I was
I gave in to all my fears and ran screaming
I asked for you and you slapped me back
How dare I be so inconsiderate.
I moved myself off this platform and searched for something
Anything really. Just to get away.
I watched you as you stared at me and I breathed in the dank humour of your heart.
I try to fool myself, but is it too much to ask?
My own self pity derives me of that happiness.
I feel twisted. Removed. Empty.
You'r just a skeleton with a rack and I'm a happy jerk.
It doesn’t work.
A split edge hardens to become the other form of self distinction..
Desolate in the free flows of minds construction
half inside the beckoning sleep.
And half the walls that creep up behind me,
silent in their towering bleakness.
And hated at the start for being who I am.
Hated in the end for being just the same.
Living on the threads that bind the world and flying hopelessly towards the sun
Easy on the way to a safe desire, a heart-felt pyre..
Blacked out from the smoke
I love for but one of these echoing nights
and I dream of forgotten hours
when the sunlight could wake me, and I wouldn't fight
and my memories didn't seem so sour.
But I came unto you, a broken man
void of all reason and thought
and you gave unto me, my decadent sorrows
and like a fool, I gave in and brought.
She laughs at me and shouts me her name,
smothered in passion and spite.
And I know that hers is the name of my heaven
my sweet loathing, I'll watch form this deafening height.
And this melancholy man sits alone with a rose.
Dear rose I wither with thee.
Hath part, but not a part within,
Take dreams, and live of loves lost mean..
A friend, and that is all. I spoke to her and gave my thoughts some rest in her ears. She listened well and returned this favour. Her words not that dissimilar from my own. In her words I heard the sounds of my heart, crying out for more. Quietly seeping at the hands, I gestured my glance towards her eyes, and in them, this sweet beauty, I fell.
I held onto the edges of my loneliness. Clinging to the world I had always known but these eyes lay upon me and my dreams shifted. I felt my passion rise and I became more than I had ever been. Passing for normality, I felt safe. The days became weeks and we held together the worlds of our own desire
For hours we would sit and talk. The subject matter never important. Just the fact that we were there, together and it was real. We had only met a few months earlier, but in that short time we had become as close as kin. As the time passed my love for her grew stronger, and even to this day, although many years on, I still love her as much. I have always known that she loved me as much as I did her, but not in the same way. I was her friend, her confidant. She was my world. It’s feels strange, almost surreal to write this now after so many years. I know she will never read this. Perhaps this will bring the closure I have always wanted.
Until I die
I will never lie
about the way
I love you.
And if I lie,
before I die
my heart will never fail you.
My heart is yours
just because
your face is always there,
but being without you
is something
I'm still not able to bear.
Just look into my eyes
and you will realize,
just how much I love you.
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Cries from another room by OnlyTheFallen, literature
Literature
Cries from another room
I take my stand that I cant force-feed these words,
my breath, any longer.
Given to the greatest desire
that I'll never know what this feeling is.
Stated in the belief that it's just a passing phase.
Just like all the others.
Words are simple when spoken beneath the eyes.
A cold breath moves across the room
to find it's place amongst the pieces of tarnished jewellery
inside my tattered books.
Dreams of times when happiness seemed so simple
and the days became a never ending playground,
the world at my fingertips.
The days now seem so distant.
Filled with the screams of broken lives and hated men..
I don't want do this anymore..
Current Residence: Australia Favourite genre of music: Anything from swing to hardcore. Techno is shit. Personal Quote: Love is just obsession with reason.
These titles will pop up every so often. They're completed pieces that I couldnt come up with a title to, or just weird little verses. There's really no order to them and eventally I'll forgewt what number I've posted them to and stuff them up. anyway, enjoy. I'm off to have breafast now. Mmmm... breakfast at 2pm. I love my days off :D
mEH.. sO BORED RIGHT NOW. dAMIT. Stupid caps lock. I finally have a Sunday off work and I've got nothing to do and nobdy to do it with. I'm also coming close to loosing my job so that brightend up my week. Meh.... Man I'm bored. What a crappy post.